and it revolved around my Mom not being able to accept anyone who was gay. And the reason it was such a crazy dream, was because EVERYTHING was so real. I had my same job, all of the people in my life were doing the same things in the dream.
I won’t really won’t go into detail about it…but I can definitely say it’ll be a while before I come out to her…especially if THAT is the reaction she is going to happen.
I work at Best Buy, and she had come to my store, and wanted to purchase stuff. And basically it came down to the fact that I had gotten my ears pierced and she could not handle it! (She has seen them in pictures when they were just studs. But I have gauged them a bit and she hasn’t seen those yet. I haven’t gotten the chance to visit her since I landed the job 3 years ago, since i always have to work holiday season).
I told her I liked the way the gauges looked and she was completely set on associating “guys with pierced ears” as gay. (Which she has already accused me of before)
But this time she didn’t back down. And I told her that plenty of guys I work with have their ears pierced as well, and she didn’t want to be assisted with her purchase by them. So I told her I would not be able to assist her either. And her response “I can’t believe you would support THEM.”
I had it right then and there. Ran to my manager, and immediately asked for a 15 minute break. And everything was still so real. He could see I was really distressed for some reason, but then there were other employees who had been working longer than I was and deserved a break….but of course he let me go…
Shit went downhill after that break, which ended with me punching shit in our warehouse as my mom left the store, with us not speaking to each other and her going back home on her 6 hour drive„,and I could see everything perfectly.
I’ve never had such a realistic, yet horrifying dream. I can’t even begin to place a thought on WHY I had that dream…
I’m not sure why I wrote that all out, but if you read it..Thanks. I just wonder what it means…
Well…time to hop in the shower, and head to Best Buy for another, hopefully “normal” shift.
Definitely getting sick of the series of unfortunate events in my life. I feel like I can never catch a break. When things are looking up, my pool of luck just runs dry. So sick of it.
Could use a pick me up every once in a while, you know? It’s just stupid. I let stuff get to me, even the smallest of things and it’s affecting the important aspects of my life: School, Work, Friendships.
But what one of my brothers just pointed out to me, is that I focus too much on everything else…everyONE else. I need to start focusing on myself. I’m too nice.
Guess I gotta start changing who I am, to get a better outcome. Well, I guess we’ll see…
Yea they know. I came out to them when I was still a pledge because I didn’t want to fully cross over into the brotherhood without knowing if they were completely okay with the fact that I was into dudes. And they definitely were completely supportive.